Speak up.

braydaaan:

omfg

chickenmcnope:

rnackenzie:

i wanna make a giant pizza and live inside of it

A Pizza Hut

thephonk:

http://thephonk.tumblr.com/

nahshaw:

I’m so glad people breathe automatically bc if I had to remember to breathe every second I would’ve probably gotten too lazy to do it and died from it a long time ago

Parents: What foreign language class are you taking this year?

Me: Math.

Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's 
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.

mom : did you eat all the donuts
me : no
mom : why are you lying to me i can see all the powder on your pants
me : thats cocaine

eleventhdoctor:

i may not be beautiful but at least i know a lot of useless information

drunktrophywife:

Amanda Bynes wasn’t allowed on a flight because she didn’t have proper id because the id she tried to use was “im Amanda Bynes google me”

arkhams:

hey … so,.. uhh… (looks at notecards) did you uh did …you fall out of heaven because um (drops cards) shit fuck oh god fuck im so sorry youre-youre just s o.pretty i m soryr